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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27571744">a safe place to land</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriusdamage/pseuds/siriusdamage'>siriusdamage</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryschaos/pseuds/strawberryschaos'>strawberryschaos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Relationships, Blaine Anderson and Santana Lopez are Siblings, Break Up, Canon Dialogue, Canon Divergence, Christmas Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e05 The First Time, Episode: s03e08 Hold On to Sixteen, Eventual Romance, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Lopandersons AU, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking, West Side Story references, dont be fooled this is a seblaine fic, kind of, like a lot, not beta read we die like (wo)men, tags are fucken HARD</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:48:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,374</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27571744</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriusdamage/pseuds/siriusdamage, https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryschaos/pseuds/strawberryschaos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't call me killer." </p><p>"Would you rather me call you <em>darling?</em>"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Jeff/Nick the Warbler (Glee), Pam Anderson/Maribel Lopez, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Lopandersons AU</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Blaine was sitting on the concrete curb outside of Scandals, shivering. He could still hear the music coming from the bar and the chatter from the crowd outside who had left the building to have a smoke. Kurt had driven off a while ago, Blaine’s phone had died and he wasn’t wearing a watch so he had no idea how long he’d been stranded out there. It felt like hours, wallowing in his own self-pity. He had left his jacket in Kurt’s car and the chilly November air was starting to get to him. He couldn’t call anyone to come to pick him up and his wallet was in his jacket pocket so there was no way he could get a bus home. Blaine’s teeth were clattering and he had his arms wrapped around himself by the time he heard footsteps coming up behind him. </p><p>“Hey there killer, what’re you doing out here?” Of <em>course</em> it was Sebastian. Blaine was secretly hoping it’d be Kurt, though he knew that he wasn’t coming back after their fight. </p><p>“Don’t call me killer.” </p><p>“Would you rather me call you <em>darling</em>?” Sebastian teased, moving to sit down next to Blaine on the curb. </p><p>Blaine scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re such an asshole, Sebastian.” </p><p>“What are you doing out here, anyway?” Sebastian asked. “Shouldn’t you and gay-face be going at it in the back of a Prius by now?”</p><p>“He left.” Blaine looked away from Sebastian, pulling his knees in closer to his chest. He didn’t want to talk to Sebastian. He wanted to sit on that curb and curl up smaller and smaller until he disappeared. “We got into a fight.”</p><p>“Oh.” </p><p>Clearly, when Sebastian wasn’t slinging out insults or shamelessly flirting, he wasn’t exactly a wordsmith. The two boys sat on the curb for a moment in silence. Blaine stared down at his shoes while Sebastian’s gaze was focused on the street in front of them. Barely any cars were passing by, Blaine had only seen one or two since he’d been out there. It was late at night and most people had already left. </p><p>Sebastian cleared his throat. “Do you wanna… talk about it or something?” </p><p>Blaine shook his head. </p><p>“Are you cold?” </p><p>Blaine turned back to Sebastian. “What?” </p><p>“You’re shivering, Blaine.” Sebastian pointed out. “It’s November and you’re out at night without a jacket.”</p><p>“I-” Blaine didn’t know what to say. He’d only known Sebastian a few days, but he wasn’t expecting that from him. For him to actually take notice of Blaine shivering or what he was wearing or how he was acting. “Yeah, yeah, I guess.” </p><p>“I’ll be back. Don’t go anywhere, killer.” Sebastian stood up from the curb and started walking towards the parking lot. </p><p>“I told you not to call me that.” </p><p>“Alright, darling.” </p><p>A few moments later, Blaine heard Sebastian's footsteps behind him and then felt something being placed over his shoulders. Blaine looked down and saw a blue and red jacket he recognized from his days at Dalton. Sebastian had given him his letterman jacket. </p><p>“Better?” Sebastian asked, sitting back down next to Blaine.</p><p>Blaine slipped his hands through the sleeves, nodding. “Thanks.” </p><p>“Do you want a ride home?” </p><p>“No, no,” Blaine declined. He pulled the sleeves of the jacket down so the cuffs hid just below his knuckles. The jacket was big on him; Sebastian was quite a bit taller than Blaine. “It’s okay, you don’t have to. You have to get back to Dalton soon, anyway.” </p><p>“You still live in Westerville, right?” Blaine nodded. “Okay, then it’s probably not far from Dalton. Let me do something nice for once.” Sebastian gave Blaine a smile, standing up from his spot on the curb. “Plus, I make Jeff cover for me when I’m late. He owes me for all the times I let Nick stay over.” Sebastian held out a hand for Blaine to take. </p><p>Blaine took Sebastian’s hand and let him pull him up off of the curb, letting go once he was standing. He followed Sebastian over to his car, settling into the passenger seat. </p><p>“Should you be driving?” Blaine asked. “I mean, haven’t you been drinking?” </p><p>“I’ve been drinking virgins all night,” Sebastian said, turning to Blaine with a slight smirk. “I had a boy to impress, after all.” </p><p>It was a pretty quiet ride home, just the hum of the engine and the faint music coming from the radio to fill the air. Blaine started to give Sebastian directions when they got further into the city, leading him down smaller and smaller streets until they arrived at Blaine’s house. </p><p>"Here we are," Sebastian said as the car pulled to a stop in front of Blaine's house. "Home sweet home."</p><p>“Thanks for the ride, but you didn’t have to.” </p><p>“I wasn’t gonna make you walk home. I might be a bit of a homewrecker, but I’m not a monster.” </p><p>Blaine smiled. “Well, at least you’re self aware.” Blaine went to take off the jacket so he could give it back to Sebastian before he stopped him. </p><p>“Keep it.” Sebastian said with a smile. “It looks better on you, anyway. We should go out again.” </p><p>Blaine got out of the car, wrapping himself in the jacket again. “Only if I’m not the only one drinking.” </p><p>“You got it, killer.” </p><p>Blaine shut the door, starting to walk backwards to his house. “I told you not to call me that!” </p><p>Blaine paused at his doorstep, watching Sebastian’s car drive down the street until it disappeared. He smiled to himself, unlocking the door and stepping inside. As soon as the door shut behind him, he heard his mother’s voice coming from the living room. </p><p>“You’re home late.” </p><p>“Sorry,” Blaine apologized. “My ride kind of drove off without me.”</p><p>A look of concern washed over Pam’s face. “What happened? Wasn’t Kurt supposed to drive you home?” </p><p>“We got into a fight.”</p><p>“Oh, honey, what happened?” </p><p>“I don’t really wanna talk about it, mom.” Blaine said, walking past Pam to get upstairs to his room. He just wanted to be alone. </p><p>“Whose jacket is that?” </p><p>Blaine stopped in his tracks, turning back around to face Pam, but not looking her in the eye. “Sebastian’s.” </p><p>“The boy from Dalton?”</p><p>Blaine nodded. </p><p>“Are you two… you know…?” Pam raised her eyebrows. “Because Kurt seems really sweet and if you’re-” </p><p>“What? No!” Blaine exclaimed, a bit louder than he indented. “Mom, we’re just friends. It’s nothing like that.” Blaine rubbed his eyes. “I’m going to bed.” </p><p>Pam said something to Blaine, probably a goodnight or a goodbye, but Blaine didn’t bother listening or responding. He went straight to his room, not bothering to take off anything but his shoes before throwing himself into his bed. He took a deep breath, finally trying to relax and fall asleep wrapped in his blankets and Sebastian's jacket.</p>
<hr/><p>Blaine woke up the next morning to his 7 am alarm, groaning when he heard it, and lazily reached over to turn it off. It was 7:15 before he actually dragged himself out of bed. His head was killing him and he was still exhausted from the night before. </p><p>Blaine checked his phone. Nothing from Kurt. No good morning text, nothing to even make sure he got home okay the night before. But there was something from Sebastian. A few texts, actually </p><p>
  <em>morning darling. you doing okay?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>jeff says hi</em>
</p><p>
  <em>don’t tell me your moms killed you for coming home drunk</em>
</p><p>Blaine smiled at his phone, beginning to text back. He was glad at least someone cared about how he was doing. </p><p>
  <em>i’m alright, aside from a headache </em>
</p><p>
  <em>tell jeff i say hi back :)</em>
</p><p>Blaine wanted to just crawl back into bed and stay there, but he knew he couldn't just not show up to school. West Side Story opened that night, he had to be in rehearsals all day. If not for the musical, he might not have even bothered getting up that morning. At least the rehearsals would give him a way to distract himself. </p><p>Blaine put on a simple outfit, not bothering to put anything too nice together; just a shirt and jeans (he considered bringing Sebastian’s jacket, it was cold so he’d probably need it, but he figured he didn’t need another reason for Kurt to be upset with him). He didn’t have the energy. He quickly fixed up his hair and was heading downstairs. Blaine didn’t bother with breakfast. He wasn’t hungry. </p><p>Santana was downstairs a few minutes later, quickly grabbing a bagel and yelling for Blaine to get in the car with her. Blaine was still getting used to living with her, especially during the school year. It was strange having another kid in the house after Cooper had been gone for so long. </p><p>Both of them gave a quick goodbye to their parents before heading out for school. Santana spent most of the ride to McKinley talking Blaine’s ear off about her next date night with Brittany and how much she hated having to work with Puck so much in West Side story or singing along to whatever music was on the radio. </p><p>“At least I’m not you,” She said to Blaine. “I don’t have to pretend to be in love with Berry.” </p><p>“It’s not that bad.” Blaine said, his voice quiet and timid. “She’s nice.” </p><p>“Okay, I know you didn’t mean that.” Santana reached over to turn the music down. “Are you okay? You seem… off.” </p><p>“I’m fine, it’s nothing.” Blaine lied. </p><p>“Nope, no way,” Santana protested. “Don’t pull that shit with me, Anderson. What’s going on?”</p><p>“Nothing, just-” Blaine sighed. He hated that Santana knew him so well. “Kurt and I got into a fight. A bad one.”</p><p>“So? Don’t you guys fight, like, every week?” </p><p>“Yeah, but this time is different.” Blaine shook his head. “I don’t know why. He left me at Scandals last night, just drove off without me. He hasn’t texted me or called me or anything, not even to make sure I’m okay.” </p><p>“You’ll be fine, B. He’ll come around.” </p><p>“I hope so.” </p><p>It was another twenty minutes before they pulled into the McKinley parking lot, most of which Santana spent obnoxiously singing along to the radio. Santana immediately left to go find Brittany, giving Blaine a quick goodbye and wishing him luck with his day. </p><p>Blaine just went right to his first class. It was the only class he’d be in today, he had rehearsals all day from second period. He spent most of the class out of focus, too busy in his own thoughts. Tina was rambling to him about something to do with Mike or Quinn or Santana, he wasn’t really paying attention, when his phone vibrated with a text. From Kurt this time. </p><p>
  <em>Can we talk after rehearsal?</em>
</p><p>Blaine’s heart was racing as he texted back. <em>sure, what about? </em></p><p>Kurt’s reply was almost instantaneous. </p><p><em>It’s something I need to say face to face. Just come find me after you’re finished.</em> </p><p>The bell couldn’t come soon enough, and the second it did Blaine was up and out the door. He knew the meeting with Kurt wasn’t going to go well. He knew Kurt was upset with him, and he understood why. Just the lack of a good morning text was enough to tell Blaine that Kurt was upset, they hadn’t gone a day without it since they had met. Blaine was worried to say the least. </p><p>Kurt didn’t talk to Blaine during rehearsals unless they were in a scene together. He barely even looked at him. Blaine wanted to take Kurt in his arms, tell him he was sorry for the night before. Tell him how much he loved him and how much he just wanted everything to be better again. But he couldn’t. After all, it was Blaine’s fault they were like this; that Kurt didn’t want anything to do with him and that Blaine felt so utterly alone. </p><p>Blaine could barely focus the whole time. He messed up his lines and forgot his lyrics despite having them memorized the day before. He kept looking over at Kurt, hoping to catch him looking at him, too. He never was.</p><p>After Blaine’s third time rehearsing Something’s Coming (and messing up the same piece of choreography each time), Artie decided to call it a day. He told Blaine to get his shit together for tomorrow’s opening show, he couldn’t be this much of a mess on stage no matter what was going on with him, especially on opening night. Blaine just nodded and agreed, hoping he could do what Artie was asking of him. </p><p>Kurt approached Blaine as he was handing his costume back to Tina with the rest of the costume department. </p><p>“Hey.” He said. His voice was quiet, solemn. The exact opposite of what Blaine wanted to hear. “Can we talk somewhere more… private?”</p>
<hr/><p>Blaine got home late that night. Rehearsals ended late enough, but he ended up driving around on his own for a while. Santana had let him have the car since she left the rehearsals before he did. He didn't know where exactly he was going. He just didn't want to see anyone for a while. </p><p>The sun was starting to set by the time he walked in the door. Pam and Maribel were in the living room waiting for him. </p><p>"Where have you been?" Maribel asked, stern but with a hint of concern in her voice. "And don't say rehearsals, because they ended two hours ago."</p><p>"Sorry," Blaine said, toeing off his shoes and walking inside. "I just... I needed some time alone, I guess." </p><p>"Why?" Pam asked. "What happened?" Blaine hesitated. "Blaine, honey, what happened?" </p><p>"Kurt broke up with me."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As Blaine tries to recover from his breakup with Kurt, he gives the Warblers a visit at their sectionals.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>West Side Story went (mostly) without a hitch. There was the occasional forgotten line and costume malfunction, as there were with most shows. Artie said he was just glad Tina didn’t start crying in the middle of the show and that nobody died on stage. Apparently, for McKinley’s productions, that was where the bar was. </p><p>Blaine avoided Artie’s cast parties like the plague. He knew Kurt had told everyone about the breakup, and though he didn’t know if people knew why they broke up, Blaine didn’t want anyone asking him questions about it or getting upset with him. He was already having a tough enough time with the breakup. He was beating himself up over it enough, he didn’t need other people to do it for him. He didn’t need another reason to lose sleep. He knew he wouldn’t have a good time at the party, especially if he were drinking. He knew he’d see Kurt and every negative feeling he’d ever had about that relationship would come rushing back to him and he’d spend the rest of the night locked in the bathroom, crying, until Santana came to get him. </p><p>Blaine ended up spending the nights after each show with Tina, just relaxing and spending some time together. They watched movies, Tina complained about Rachel, and Blaine went on about how much of a pain it was to live with Santana. It was nice for Blaine to have someone to spend time with other than Kurt. It gave him a distraction from everything going on in his head and he wouldn't have to spend his nights alone. And, when Santana came home after their second show drunk with Brittany in tow, only to get in trouble with Pam and Maribel, Blaine was glad he skipped the parties. </p><p>It was after their fourth show, when they were sitting on Blaine’s couch in the middle of watching <em>Clueless</em>, that Tina finally asked the question. </p><p>“So, why did you and Kurt break up, anyway?” </p><p>Blaine sighed. “First of all, <em>he</em> broke up with <em>me</em>. And just… it’s a lot. We went out, I got drunk and stupid, did some things. He doesn’t trust me anymore.” </p><p>“Did you cheat on him?” </p><p>“What? No!” Blaine exclaimed. “Why does everybody keep asking me that?” </p><p>“Then what did you do?” Tina asked. Blaine couldn’t tell if she was genuinely concerned or just curious. Knowing Tina, it was probably a little bit of both. </p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it.” </p><p>“Come on, Blainey Days,” Tina pleaded. “I swear I won’t tell anyone.” </p><p>“I said no, Tina.” Blaine turned back to the T.V. “Come on, we’re almost at the makeover scene. I know you don’t wanna miss it.” </p><p>The pair returned to watching the movie for a while until Blaine’s phone vibrating interrupted them. Tina told Blaine to just ignore it, and he did until it vibrated twice more. Blaine picked up his phone and read over the texts from Sebastian. </p><p>
  <em>hey killer </em>
</p><p>
  <em>loved the show tonight </em>
</p><p>
  <em>loved you in one hand, one heart. you almost made me jealous of berry ;)</em>
</p><p>Blaine smiled and started to text back before Tina nudged him. </p><p>“Who are you texting?” She asked. </p><p>“Sebastian.” </p><p>“The warbler?”</p><p>“No, Tina, I’m texting Sebastian Maniscalco,” Blaine remarked. “What do you think?”</p><p>“Is Sebastian more important than Cher and Josh about to kiss?” </p><p>“Yeah, he is.” Blaine continued texting, paying little to no mind to Tina. “Besides, aren’t they, like… siblings? Isn’t that a little weird?” </p><p>“Step-siblings, and they aren’t anymore,” Tina said. “And they’re in love, so shut up.” </p><p>Blaine just ignored Tina and went back to texting Sebastian. </p><p>
  <em>thanks. you know you didn’t have to come to more than one show, right? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>i know i didn’t. but i wanted to. it was ten bucks well spent</em>
</p><p>
  <em>wow. ten bucks. you must really like me to spend all that money, smythe </em>
</p><p>
  <em>anything for you, killer ;) </em>
</p><p>The movie ended a few minutes later. Tina said her goodbyes to Blaine and his parents before heading home for the night. Blaine cleaned up the living room before heading up to his room. It was getting late, so he got himself ready to bed; washed his face, brushed his teeth, and changed into pyjamas. By the time he got back to his bed, there was another text waiting from Sebastian. </p><p>
  <em>are you doing anything next friday? your shows are over by then, right? </em>
</p><p>Blaine quickly checked his schedule and replied. <em>i’m not doing anything, why?</em> </p><p>The three bubbles on Blaine’s screen appeared and reappeared over and over again before the message finally appeared on Blaine’s screen. </p><p>
  <em>warbler’s sectionals are at the westerville theatre friday at five. i got you a ticket if you wanna come </em>
</p><p>Blaine quickly asked Pam and got the okay to go out on Friday. </p><p>
  <em>i’d love to :) </em>
</p><p>
  <em>perfect. It’s a date</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>“I mean, he said it’s a date, right?” Santana asked from Blaine’s desk chair. </p><p>It was Friday afternoon. Blaine was set to leave to head to Westerville in half an hour and to say he was freaking out would be an understatement. </p><p>“Yeah, he said ‘it’s a date’.” Blaine was pacing between his closet and his bed, trying to pick out an outfit. </p><p>“So it’s a date.” Santana said. Blaine disappeared into his closet for a moment and came out in a different outfit. “No, no. No way. I’m not letting you wear that. Absolutely not. That’s horrendous.” </p><p>“What? Why not? I like this outfit.” </p><p>Santana looked Blaine up and down. “Lose the bow tie.” </p><p>“But bow ties are, like, my <em>thing</em>.” Blaine complained. “I think it’s cute.” </p><p>“It makes you look like a toddler.” </p><p>“Fine.” Blaine begrudgingly took off his bow tie, tossing it onto his bed. “Happy now?” </p><p>“Undo the top button.” Blaine did as he was told. “Hm. No, one more.” </p><p>“Really?” </p><p>“Yes, really. Undo the button, you gay idiot.”</p><p>“Says you.” </p><p>“Shut up!” Santana leaned over and grabbed a pillow from the end of Blaine’s bed, chucking it at his head. Blaine laughed and threw it back, just barely missing the lamp on his desk. Santana tossed the pillow back onto the bed while Blaine undid another button on his shirt. “See? Look how much better you look. Smythe is gonna fall in love with you, I’m sure of it. You’re gonna have the best date ever. And if you don’t, I will personally hunt down that boy and kick his ass myself.” </p><p>Blaine sat down on the edge of his bed. “What if I don’t want it to be a date?” </p><p>“Why wouldn’t you?” Santana inquired. “I mean, we know I don’t like that little bitchlet but he sure likes you.” </p><p>“I just… I don’t know,” Blaine sighed. "I literally just broke up with Kurt. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, San."</p><p>“What better way to get over lady hummel than to hop on off-brand Fievel?” Santana suggested. “I mean, when Brit started dating wheels-”</p><p>“Okay, that was different and you know it.” Blaine said, standing up. “I don’t wanna make Sebastian some rebound. He deserves better than that.” Santana opened her mouth to respond, but Blaine just kept going. “But I do like him and I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>“Tell him that, dummy.” Santana stood up from her chair. “Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s date night with Brit. She’s gonna be here any minute and I have to prepare my-” </p><p>“<em>Okay!</em>” Blaine cut her off. “I don’t wanna know, just get out of my room.” </p><p>“Fine.” Santana started walking towards the door. “See you later, gay face.” </p><p>Blaine grabbed his phone, keys, and Sebastian’s jacket and he was out the door, on his way to Westerville.</p>
<hr/><p>Blaine stood awkwardly in the theatre lobby, waiting for Sebastian to come and meet him after the show. He looked around for anyone he knew, just spotting a few of the newer warblers he barely knew. Blaine fiddled with the pink ribbon on the bouquet of flowers in his hands. Red and striped carnations. He was about to text Sebastian and ask where he was when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Blaine turned around and smiled. </p><p>“Nick!” He exclaimed, being pulled in for a hug by Nick. Blaine hugged back the best he could with the bouquet in his hand. “I’ve missed you, man.” </p><p>Nick pulled away from the hug. “You said you’d text me after West Side Story but you never did.” </p><p>“I know, I’m sorry. There’s been a lot happening.” </p><p>“Yeah, Seb told me about you and Kurt,” Nick said. “It’s gotta be tough. If me and Jeff had the same thing happen-” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I know, Nick.” Blaine sighed. “I’ll be okay.” </p><p>“Who are the flowers for?” </p><p>“Oh,” Blaine held up the bouquet. “They’re for Sebastian. Is it too much? I feel like it’s too much.”</p><p>“Speaking of Seb, what’s with the jacket, Teeny Tiny Blainey Man?” Nick asked, completely disregarding Blaine’s question. </p><p>“Oh, it’s Sebastian’s,” Blaine said, although that was kind of obvious with ‘Smythe’ written across the back. “He gave it to me last week. Well, let me borrow it, he’s probably gonna want it back. And I still think that's a stupid nickname, I'm not that short.” </p><p>“Flowers and his jacket, huh? You sure it’s just platonic between you two?” Nick inquired before adding on, "And you are that short, B."</p><p>“I heard my name.” said a voice from behind the pair. </p><p>“Hey, Seb.” Nick greeted, but Sebastian seemed to ignore him completely and just talk to Blaine. </p><p>“Hey, killer,” Sebastian said to Blaine. “Glad you could make it.” </p><p>“Okay,” Nick interjected awkwardly. “I’m just gonna… leave you two alone.”  </p><p>Sebastian smiled at Blaine. “Enjoy the show?” </p><p>“Of course, you guys were really good,” Blaine said. “Good to see Nick and Jeff finally got their duet.”</p><p>“You know how Jeff is, it was hard for me to say no.” Sebastian explained. “Flowers, huh? They for a special someone?” Sebastian gestured towards Blaine’s hand. </p><p>“Actually, uh,” Blaine laughed nervously, holding out the bouquet. “They’re for you.” </p><p>“Me?” Sebastian sputtered. He seemed genuinely shocked, like this was the last thing he was expecting. He hesitated for a moment before taking the flowers from Blaine, smiling softly down at them. It was a look Blaine had never seen on Sebastian and he had to be honest, it was kind of adorable. “Nobody’s ever bought me flowers before.” The soft expression faded after a moment, changing into his usual smirk and usual artful demeanor. “Thanks, killer. Can’t make any promises on how long they’ll survive. I’m a plant killer, even killed a cactus one time.” </p><p>“How did you kill a cactus?” Blaine asked, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, you don’t even need to water them that often.” </p><p>“Actually, I watered it too much.” Blaine started laughing. “What? Hey! Don’t laugh at me. Nobody told me how much I was supposed to water it.” </p><p>“I think you’ll be fine with these. All you have to do is put them in a vase.” </p><p>“I think I can manage that.” Sebastian smiled, reminiscent of the soft smile from moments earlier. “Nice jacket, by the way.” </p><p>“Oh, I-” Blaine fiddled with the cuffs of the jacket. “I kind of forgot I was wearing it. You can have it back if you want.” </p><p>“Like I said, killer, you can keep it.” Sebastian said. “It looks a lot better on you than it does me.” A couple of Warblers called out for Sebastian from across the lobby, some of which Blaine recognized. “I should go.” He said, sounding a bit sad. “I’ll see you around, killer.”</p><p>“I told you not to call me that.” Blaine pouted. </p><p>“Fine. I’ll see you around, darling.” Sebastian ran off towards the rest of the Warblers with a wink and a wave, leaving Blaine with a fluttering feeling in his chest that he hadn’t felt since Blackbird.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Blaine tries to make things right with Kurt. Meanwhile, the New Directions prepare for Sectionals and Sebastian makes a surprise visit.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Box in hand, Blaine knocked on the door to the Huson-Hummel house. He nervously looked back at Tina, who was waiting in his car parked on the road. Tina gave him a thumbs up and a smile. She’d agreed to come with him in case things between him and Kurt got ugly. Blaine was hoping Finn or Carole would answer the door. Even Finn would be better than Kurt. But, just Blaine’s luck, Kurt opened the door a few moments later. </p><p>“What are you doing here, Blaine?” Kurt looked exhausted. His hair was a mess and he was dressed in just a T-shirt and sweatpants. Even just for around the house, it was casual for Kurt. He looked a mess compared to usual. Clearly, the breakup hadn’t been treating him kindly, either. </p><p>“Relax, I’m not here to confess my undying love or anything.” Blaine held out the box. “I’m just bringing you your stuff that was at my place.” </p><p>Kurt took the box, shuffling through it for a moment. “Is this your prom ticket?”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t know if you wanted it, but I have no reason to keep it, I only went because of you.” Blaine explained. “And, I mean, I’m gonna have my own junior prom this year, right?” </p><p>Kurt nodded, smiling sadly down at the box. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.” He looked back up at Blaine, and then slightly behind him. “Is that Tina?” </p><p>Blaine glanced back at the car. Tina awkwardly waved. “Yeah,” He said, turning back to Kurt. “I asked her to come with me.” </p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Blaine lied. “In case you got mad or something, I guess.” </p><p>“I’m not going to get mad, Blaine.” Kurt said, still looking down at the box. “I was never mad. Upset, sure. But I wasn’t mad at you.” </p><p>“You seemed pretty mad to me.” </p><p>“I was just hurt. What you did-” Kurt was cut off by Blaine. </p><p>“I know, I know.” Blaine said. “It was awful of me to try and get you to do… that when you weren’t ready. If it makes you feel any better, I’m really, really sorry. For all of it. Getting drunk, dancing with Sebastian all night, and everything that went down in the parking lot. I’m sorry, Kurt.” </p><p>“I’m not gonna say it’s okay,” Kurt finally looked Blaine in the eye. “Because it isn’t. You broke my trust.” Blaine nodded along. “But I think… I think I forgive you, if you’ll let me.” </p><p>Blaine nodded. “Of course. Of course, I’ll let you, Kurt. That’s all I want."</p><p>"Good. Because I want us to be able to be friends again. Maybe not now, I think we both still need some time. But... eventually. If that's okay with you."</p><p>"It's totally okay. I'd love that." Blaine said. "Now, uh, it’s getting kind of cold out here, do you mind if I…” He gestured back towards his car. </p><p>“Oh, yeah, of course.” Kurt said. “Have a good rest of the weekend, I guess.”</p><p>“You too.” </p><p>Kurt took the box of things inside and shut the door and Blaine went back to his car. </p><p>“How’d it go?” Tina asked Blaine once he was back in the car with her. </p><p>“Good, I think.” Blaine said. “I think I blacked out.”</p>
<hr/><p>“How do I get stuck with the costumes every single time?” Tina whined. “I mean, seriously, Kurt can sew, can’t he? Doesn’t he make, like, all of his clothes himself? I swear that was a thing he used to do.”</p><p>“The New Directions is a mess,” Blaine complained. He and Tina were sitting in the Lima Bean. Tina was working on designing their costumes for Sectionals while Blaine talked her ear off about whatever it was that was bothering him this week. It had kind of become a tradition for the two of them. “We’re gonna lose, Tina, and I can’t do a thing about it. Every time I open my mouth, Finn gives me these looks like, ‘what does he think he’s doing?’ I know what I’m doing.” </p><p>“Hey guys.” </p><p>Blaine turned around to see Sebastian standing behind him, drink in hand. He smiled. </p><p>“It’s so crazy.” Sebastian started pulling up a chair to Blaine and Tina’s table. “I’m sitting over there checking out this guy and all of a sudden, I’m like, ‘Wait a second, I know that hair.’ What’s up, buddy? Haven’t seen you online.” He turned to Tina. “Hi, Tina.”</p><p>“We’ve been really busy with Glee Club.” Blaine explained. “Preparing for Sectionals. We’re up this week.” </p><p>“Well, if there’s one guy that can whip New Directions into a legitimate threat, it’s Blaine Anderson, right?” Sebastian mused. </p><p>“Right.” Blaine said. “I need more coffee.” </p><p>Blaine got up from the table with his empty coffee cup, heading up to the counter to order his third coffee of the day. He knew it wasn’t exactly healthy, but a steady caffeine addiction certainly beat being exhausted all the time. Blaine got his coffee and headed back to the table. </p><p>“What are you guys talking about?” He asked, taking his seat next to Sebastian. </p><p>“Duh, the next time we’re going out drinking, killer.” Sebastian said. He turned to Tina again. “You’re welcome to come, too. If you want. I'm sure there's a few girls there who'll take an interest.” </p><p>“I have a boyfriend.” Tina retorted. </p><p>Sebastian looked Tina up and down. “Sure.” Sebastian took a glance at his watch. “I gotta run. See you guys at Sectionals.” </p><p>Sebastian walked off, leaving Blaine and Tina alone. </p><p>“Okay, what is going on between you two?” Tina hissed. </p><p>"Nothing is going on, Tina."</p><p>“Come on, he was totally flirting with you.”</p><p>“It’s nothing.” </p><p>“Are you stupid?” Tina mocked. “The entire time you were up getting another coffee, he was asking me about you. Apparently, I’m not interesting enough for him.” Tina shook her head. “Not the point. The point is, this guy likes you, Blaine.” </p><p>“And it doesn’t matter,” Blaine argued. “He knows me and Kurt just broke up, I’m sure he knows I’m not looking for anything right now.” </p><p>“Does he?”</p>
<hr/><p>Blaine certainly wasn't exaggerating when he said that the New Directions were a mess.  Even with Sam back, trying to pull the group together seemed impossible. Blaine was starting to think there was no way they were going to beat the Trouble Tones. Every rehearsal they had was a complete mess. The Trouble Tones had taken over the auditorium so they were confined to the choir room. It wasn’t the best place to be rehearsing a dance routine. </p><p>“Why does it even matter anyway?” Puck said in the middle of one of their rehearsals. “It’s not like we have a chance of winning. Not without the girls.” </p><p>“Sir,” Rory interjected. “Girls smell better than ham and when they’re dancing and bouncing around, you can’t help but watch them.” </p><p>“That’s it, then.” Mr. Schuester said. “We’ll take what’s most appealing about us as a group, and we’ll use it to our advantage.” </p><p>A few suggestions flew around the room before Sam stopped them. </p><p>“No, hey, guys,” He said, walking into the middle of the group. “What we need to sell here is sex.” </p><p>“The hell was that?” Blaine asked. </p><p>“That’s a- it’s a body roll.” </p><p>“The man’s not wrong.” Artie said, “I got tingling where it’s only 50/50 for tingling.” </p><p>“Yeah, Sam,” Finn smiled. “That’s totally it.” </p><p>“No, no,” Blaine shook his head. “We don’t have to resort to…<em> that</em>. It’s cheap. You know, it’s selling out.” </p><p>“I came back here to win.” Sam took a step forward, towards Blaine. “When you’re desperate, sometimes you gotta, you know, use your assets and do what you’ve gotta do to get back that advantage. This is that advantage.” </p><p>“Of course you think that; you have to think that in order to sleep at night.” </p><p>“What the hell does that mean?” </p><p>“It means,” Blaine took a step closer to Sam. “I’m not for sale.” </p><p>Sam shoved Blaine. Blaine stumbled back a bit but quickly regained his balance and shoved back. Mr. Schuester stepped in to stop them and Blaine stepped back. </p><p>“Forget it.” He said. Blaine left the choir room with a sigh, not even bothering to bring his stuff with him. </p><p>It was a while before anyone from Glee Club came to find him. Finn walked into the locker room awkwardly, clearly not sure how to approach Blaine. He was angry and trying to take it out, whatever way he knew how. </p><p>“Yep.” Blaine said, throwing another punch. “Yours, too.” Finn gave Blaine a look. “Don’t act so surprised. After getting bullied so much, I took up boxing. I also started the Dalton branch of Fight club which I,” He threw another punch, “obviously,” another one, “can’t,” and another, his voice getting louder, “talk about. What is your problem with me anyway? Ever since I’ve gotten here you’ve given me nothing but crap.” </p><p>“Honestly, dude, I was kind of jealous.” Finn said. Blaine rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I felt threatened. Your talent kind of freaked me out, made me question whether I was good enough.” Blaine shook his head. “Look, Blaine, I’m sorry. I’ve been acting like a jackass to you. With Rachel gone, you’re the most talented, well-rounded member of this team and now more than ever we need to be on the same page. United.” </p><p>Blaine sighed. “Fine. Just tell me what you need me to do.” </p><p>“We have an opportunity,” Finn began. “An opportunity to be remembered at this school for the rest of our lives for doing the impossible. But it all starts right here, with you and me. I just want to be able to look across that stage at you and know that we did everything we could, no regrets.”</p><p>Blaine shrugged. “Let’s get back to work.”</p>
<hr/><p>Blaine had been thinking about the incident with Sam in the choir room all day. He felt terrible about it. He barely knew Sam. The only time they'd met before Blaine transferred to McKinley was at Rachel's party, most of which Blaine didn't remember. This wasn't the first (technically second) impression he wanted to make on Sam, it certainly wasn't who he is.</p><p>Blaine ended up finding Sam outside of his history class at the end of the day. "Hey, Sam! Wait up!" He called out, running over to Sam. </p><p>"Uh," Sam stopped in his tracks when Blaine jumped in front of him. "Hey, Blaine. What's up?" </p><p>"I just wanted to apologize," Blaine said, starting to walk down the hallway with Sam. "About earlier. Look, I'm sorry. I really am. That's not really what I think of you." Blaine sighed. "I was just upset with everything going on. Between the club being this much of a mess right before a competition and Finn being a jackass and just... everything with Kurt, it was a lot. And I took it out on you and that wasn't fair. I'm sorry." </p><p>Sam smiled. "It's okay. You didn't have to apologize. I get it."</p><p>"You do?"</p><p>"Yeah, you've got a lot going on." Sam stopped walking and Blaine quickly followed suit. "Finn told me about what happened with you and Kurt. He didn't tell me why you broke up, just that you did. I don't really know you that well but I know Kurt and I know you two were really close. It's gotta be hard for you right now." </p><p>"That's still no excuse for what I did. Calling you all those things."</p><p>Sam gave Blaine a pat on the shoulder. "You gotta stop being so hard on yourself, man. Like I told you, it's okay."</p><p>“Okay,” Blaine smiled. “If you’re sure. Oh, and since you’re actually listening to me now, maybe we could try out some of my suggestions for Sectionals.”</p><p>“Nope. No way. Sorry, but absolutely not.”</p>
<hr/><p>Sebastian approached Blaine in the hallway at McKinley after Sectionals. Most people had already left to go home. Blaine was pretty sure the rest of the Warblers had already left without Sebastian. </p><p>"Hey there, killer," Sebastian said as he walked up to Blaine. "Oh, sorry, <em>darling</em>."</p><p>“Hey, Seb.” </p><p>“Ooh, ‘Seb’, that’s a new one.” </p><p>“I thought it was cute.”</p><p>"No, hey, I like it." Sebastian smiled. "You were really good tonight. Star of the show, in fact. I told you that you could do it, killer." Blaine glared at him. "Sorry, sorry. Darling. I’ve gotta get used to calling you that. I didn't realize you liked the sappy pet names that much." </p><p>“I have layers.”</p><p>Sebastian laughed at that. “God, you’re so cute.” </p><p>Blaine smiled softly. “Shut up.” </p><p>“I guess this means we’ll be going head-to-head at Regionals.” Sebastian pointed out. “I can’t wait to see the look on your face when I beat you.” </p><p>“Oh no. No. Nope.” Blaine shook his head. “Listen, I love the Warblers, but no way are you guys beating us if I have anything to do with it. We’re winning.” The smile faded from Blaine’s face. “Actually, Sebastian, I wanted to talk to you about something.” </p><p>“Busting out the full name. Things are getting serious.” </p><p>“I am serious, Sebastian.” Blaine said, taking a deep breath. “Look, I really like you. I do. But this,” Blaine gestured between the two of them. “Whatever this is with the two of us, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” </p><p>“Oh.” Sebastian looked… sad. Almost defeated. </p><p>“It’s not you or anything, I promise.” Blaine started speaking faster. He did it a lot when he was nervous. “Just, after everything with Kurt and being together for so long and then it ending so abruptly, I don’t know if I can be in a relationship right now. With anyone.” Sebastian didn’t say anything. “I need to get over him first. I’m sorry, Sebastian. I just need some time. I’m not saying no to anything in the future, just… not right now. I’m sorry.” </p><p>Sebastian shook his head. “It’s fine. I get it.” He said, but it seemed insincere. “You don’t have to apologize. Take your time.”</p><p>Sebastian walked off without another word, leaving Blaine standing there, alone. </p><p>Blaine didn’t get a text from Sebastian until two days later. </p><p>
  <em>i’m sorry about friday </em>
</p><p>
  <em>i shouldn’t have reacted like that. i get it, i mean that. breakups suck ass and i shouldn’t be contributing to that </em>
</p><p>
  <em>if you don’t want this to turn into anything that’s okay</em>
</p><p>Blaine smiled at his phone. He was expecting Sebastian to be upset at best, stop talking to him at worst. Knowing he was okay with Blaine wanting some time was refreshing. </p><p>
  <em>thanks seb :) you’re the best</em>
</p><p>Sebastian’s response was fast. <em>i know ;)</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Christmas time in the Anderson-Lopez household.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>big fat shoutout to my girlfriend (<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryschaos/pseuds/strawberryschaos">strawberryschaos</a>) for helping me write this chapter! she actually wrote a decent amount of it (it's pretty easy to tell what she wrote and what i did) and I definitely wouldn't have been able to get it finished if not for her :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Blaine never liked Christmas. He vastly preferred Valentine's Day or Halloween. Even Easter was better than Christmas to him.</p><p>In third grade, he and Cooper stayed up late the night before the last day of school before holiday break making cookies. Blaine gave everyone in his class a cookie, but he got no thank yous. Not one, not from anyone. Most of the cookies he had worked so hard on ended up in the trash, unopened.</p><p>In fifth grade, his Christmas was remarkably unremarkable. His family drove him two hours to his grandparents' house. He spent the whole holiday sitting alone while Cooper stole the attention of all of their relatives. He tried to complain about it to his father but was just told to "suck it up". He didn’t try to complain again after that. </p><p>Seventh grade was their family's first Christmas without Cooper. Blaine had given up on having a happy Christmas at this point. Cooper had run away from home just a month ago, leaving their family in an incredibly awkward position. They didn't include any relatives other than Blaine and his parents that Christmas out of fear of being embarrassed, the situation with Cooper had caused Blaine’s parents a lot of criticism. Blaine had to watch his mother weep over her oldest son not being with them, watch his father try to piece together a happy Christmas but utterly fail. </p><p>Ninth grade's Christmas was right after the ill-fated Sadie Hawkins dance. He had just come out before the dance and his father was still upset with him. He hadn’t spoken to him since the dance, didn’t even come to see him in the hospital. On top of that, he was still recovering from his injuries. Blaine’s father barely looked at him, Blaine couldn’t tell if it was because he was mad at him or because he didn’t want to admit he was wrong. His mother tried to mediate the situation, to no avail. He ended up going back to Dalton early that year.</p><p>Tenth grade, it was just Blaine and Pam. Blaine was doing better than he was last year; he was starting to really feel comfortable at Dalton, leading the Warblers, even making a new friend, Kurt. But that didn’t mean he was doing good. His dad had moved out of Westerville, leaving him and Pam alone in the house. He didn’t see any of his family other than Pam that year, everyone on his father’s side didn’t talk to him anymore, not after the divorce was so messy. </p><p>This year, eleventh grade, it was Blaine’s first Christmas with the Lopezes. Pam and Maribel had only gotten married that summer, so it was a new situation for all of them. They were all a bit nervous. Blaine was still getting used to living with Santana, let alone spending a holiday with her. He was, of course, still excited. He wouldn’t have to spend the whole day with his dad or Cooper, just him and the people who actually cared about him. It was a nice refresher. </p><p>By the time Christmas Eve rolled around, the entire Anderson-Lopez house was decked from ground to roof with Christmassy decor. It was going to be their first Christmas all together, and they were really going all out. There was a giant tree in the living room that constantly sparkled with lights, an ornament on every branch. The banisters, both inside and out, were wrapped thickly in leafy garland and shiny tinsel. Nearly every table was adorned with a holiday candle, and tiny statuettes of reindeer and nutcrackers could be spotted from just about anywhere in the house. Pam had gone a little Christmas crazy. She did every year. Whether she actually enjoyed it that much or if she was overcompensating for what usually happened at the family events, nobody really knew. </p><p>Though, being their first holiday season together, Santana and Blaine expected Christmas Eve to be calm. They were wrong. </p><p>Everybody was woken up at 8 am by Pam handing them a set of pyjamas, which they later discovered were all matching. Once they got downstairs, they saw that she’d set up her camera in the living room, pointing at the tree. </p><p>“Oh god,” Santana muttered tiredly, “Family photo day. Didn’t we just do a family photo shoot for the Christmas cards?”</p><p>	“I have to do this every year, San,” Blaine said. “Start getting used to it.” </p><p>She was right, of course, but that didn’t mean much. After they ate, they spent the whole morning standing around the living room and posing while Pam fussed about the photos. As tired as they were, it was clear Pam was desperate for their first Christmas as a whole family to be perfect, so they shelved their complaints and did their best to be happy about it all. </p><p>After lunch, things finally did start to settle down. Pam and Maribel went out for a lunch date and to do some last-minute shopping and Blaine, not having much to do, had decided to get a headstart on his homework, while Santana finished wrapping gifts in her room (most of which Blaine was convinced were for Brittany).</p><p>Blaine was in his room with headphones in, sitting at his desk and staring with unfocused eyes at his laptop screen, his mind a daydreamy haze. He nearly fell out of his chair when his phone buzzed, grabbing it way too fast when he saw that the text was from Sebastian. They’d been texting nonstop recently, especially over the break. They had grown close fast and Blaine had spent many hours looking down at his screen and smiling at whatever snarky - or sometimes, sweet - thing Sebastian had said. This time, the text read simply: <em>save me</em></p><p>Blaine, brow furrowing in confusion, typed back, <em>what’s up? :(</em></p><p>The three bouncing dots hovered onscreen for a moment before Sebastian’s response came through: <em>family christmas. currently wishing i stayed at dalton for the break.</em> </p><p>
  <em>i’d invite you over but my mom’s gone a little wild too</em>
</p><p>The dots stayed onscreen for a long time, appearing, disappearing, and reappearing as though Sebastian kept deleting and rewriting his message, then finally the text appeared. <em>looks like we’re both stuck in ✨Holiday Hell✨</em></p><p>Blaine couldn’t help but laugh a little at that, although Sebastian’s message made him wonder if there was more going on that he wasn’t hearing about. Blaine knew Sebastian’s family life was messy. He abandoned his desk and his schoolwork, curling up on his bed and smiling nonstop at the screen of his phone as he and Sebastian started discussing lighter topics. Blaine always loved talking to Sebastian, especially when he could help cheer him up. </p><p>Christmas morning, they were all awoken way too early by Pam and Blaine, who were practically vibrating with excitement. This Christmas seemed like it’d finally be a good one for Blaine, he was excited. Santana shoved Blaine’s shoulder as they walked into the living room, muttering something about it being too early even on a holiday and just wanting to sleep in for once. Maribel made coffees for herself, Pam, Blaine, and Santana. She set them down on the table, not trusting any of them to avoid spilling them; neither Blaine nor Pam could sit still and Santana seemed to be dozing back off while sitting up in an armchair. </p><p>It took a while for them to get through all the gifts under the tree; they went one person at a time, around the room in a circle. Once everything had been opened, Blaine started bagging up wrapping paper while Pam and Maribel headed into the kitchen to start breakfast. They all heard music coming from the kitchen, but instead of Christmas music, it was love songs. Blaine and Santana exchanged a look and seemed to have the same thought at the same time, both silently tiptoeing over to the kitchen entryway and peeking inside. </p><p>Old-timey love songs were playing from a speaker on the counter and Pam and Maribel were dancing slowly together, the bowl of pancake mix abandoned in favour of the soft moment, both of them wrapped up in each other’s presence. The two teens slipped away from the door unnoticed, smiling.</p><p>After breakfast, Santana and Blaine loaded the dishwasher while Pam and Maribel relaxed on the couch, flipping through a couple of the magazines that Blaine had bought them. They spent the morning sitting together in the living room, each doing their own thing but still together, the fireplace crackling and the holiday radio station playing at a low volume. </p><p>Blaine felt his phone buzz in his pocket and set aside the fidget toy he was messing with to check it. He was half expecting it to be his dad or Cooper, but instead, he saw a text from Sebastian. He frowned as he read it; the message was a long-winded description of how Sebastian’s morning had gone, starting and ending with apologies. The more Blaine read, the more upsetting the message got. </p><p>Blaine texted back rapidly, his fingers flying over his screen. <em>hey, it’s alright. you don’t have to apologize for anything, it’s fine. how can i help?</em> His eyes were glued to his screen as he waited for Sebastian’s response. </p><p>
  <em>i don’t know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>i just don’t want to be here.</em>
</p><p>Blaine sighed, looking up across the room. “Hey mom?”</p><p>Pam gave Blaine the okay to invite Sebastian over, and just under two hours later Blaine was opening the door to let him in, giving him a smile and a quick hug in greeting. Santana had already ditched the rest of the family to go get Brittany, so Blaine led Sebastian up to his room. </p><p>Sebastian looked a little awkward and nervous about being there, standing in the middle of Blaine’s room and avoiding eye contact. Blaine bit his lip, trying to come up with a way to make Sebastian feel more comfortable. He figured that Sebastian was probably still upset from the drama with his family, so he settled on hugging him - a real one, not like their quick hug downstairs. “Is everything okay?” Blaine asked quietly when they separated after a few moments. </p><p>Sebastian sighed. “Could be better, but at least I’m not stuck at home anymore. Thanks for this,” he replied, sitting down in Blaine’s desk chair when Blaine sat on his bed. </p><p>“Of course. It’s Christmas, it’s supposed to be a good day,” Blaine smiled, “You can be my partner for the gingerbread house competition later when Santana and Brittany get home. Maybe I’ll actually have a shot at winning for once. I’ll have someone to stop me from eating all the candy.” Sebastian laughed at that, his mood starting to brighten. “I’m serious! I lose every year because I just eat the candy decorations.” Blaine said, but he was laughing as well. </p><p>“You build the gingerbread house, I’ll spend the whole time trash-talking your sister,” Sebastian said playfully. </p><p>“You say that like it’s a joke but I feel like you’d actually do it.”</p><p>“I mean if she’s arguing with me she’s not building her gingerbread house, right?” </p><p>“No bickering with my sister during our competition,” Blaine replied, rolling his eyes. </p><p>“Okay, okay. Oh, also…” Sebastian reached into the bag he’d brought along and pulled out a small wrapped package. “I, uh. I got you this.” He handed it to Blaine with a nervous smile. “I don’t know if you got me anything–I mean, you didn’t have to, I’m not expecting anything. It’s okay if you don’t like it, too, you can return it and-”</p><p>“Hey, calm down. It’s okay.” Blaine smiled back, taking it and pulling off the snowman-printed paper. Inside was a box with a red bow tie that had the tiniest, most subtle white stripes across it. He set the box down on his bed and looked back at Sebastian, his smile even wider as he got up to hug him. “Thanks, Seb. That’s so cute.” The sound of the door opening and shutting abruptly shook the two of them out of their hug. Blaine could hear Santana and Brittany chattering coming from downstairs. “They’re here!” He exclaimed, grabbing Sebastian’s hand. “Come on, it’s gingerbread time.” </p><p>Sebastian let Blaine drag him down to the kitchen, not letting go of his hand.</p>
<hr/><p>Blaine and Sebastian ended up losing the contest, to no one’s surprise. Blaine ended up eating most of the frosting, barely leaving enough to piece the house together let alone decorate it. What was decorated was sloppy and inconsistent, turns out neither Blaine or Sebastian were very good at decorating. Not that it mattered much, they ended up eating most of it afterwards, anyway. </p><p>The rest of the day went on as usual. Brittany and Santana spent most of their time up in Santana’s room. Blaine didn’t want to know what they were up to. Pam and Maribel were in the kitchen working on dinner. Blaine didn’t know what they were making but it certainly smelled good. Blaine and Sebastian spent most of their time sitting around in the living room watching whatever was on TV. Most of it was Christmas movies. They weren’t Blaine’s favourite thing to watch, but Sebastian seemed to enjoy it. Blaine could’ve sworn he even saw Sebastian tear up at <em>Love, Actually</em>. They were about halfway through <em>A Charlie Brown Christmas</em> when there was a knock at the door. </p><p>“I’ll get it,” Blaine told Sebastian, standing up from the couch. “You stay here. Unless it’s someone coming to kill me. In which case, avenge me.” </p><p>Sebastian laughed. “You’re such a dork.” There was a second knock at the door. “Go get the door, dummy.” </p><p>Blaine walked over to the front door, wondering who it could be. As far as he knew, they weren’t expecting anyone else today. He unlocked and opened the door to see one of the last people he expected (or wanted) to see. </p><p>“Hey there, Squirt.” </p><p>“Cooper, hey,” Blaine greeted. “I, uh, didn’t know you were coming.”  </p><p>“Of course I am. I’m not gonna say no to Mom’s invitation. We both know she can be scary.” Cooper stepped through the door, walking right past Blaine. He gave Pam and Maribel a quick hello and then walked into the living room, where Sebastian was. “Who’s this?” He asked, pointing to Sebastian. </p><p>Blaine turned to Sebastian. “This is my brother. Cooper. Cooper, this is-”</p><p> “No, no. Don’t tell me.” Cooper cut Blaine off. “This is the boyfriend, right? Kurt?”</p><p>Blaine shook his head. “No.” </p><p>“<em>God</em>, no.” Sebastian said from the couch. </p><p>“Actually,” Blaine began. “Kurt broke up with me. I thought you knew.” </p><p>“How would I know that?” </p><p>“I don’t know,” Blaine shrugged. “I thought maybe Mom would’ve told you.”</p><p>“She didn’t. I’d expect to hear news like that from you, Blaine, but you never talk to me.”</p><p>“You don’t talk to me either, Coop. You haven’t even-” Blaine was cut off swiftly by Sebastian standing up from the couch and stepping between the two brothers. </p><p>“Hi,” He held out his hand towards Cooper for a handshake. “I’m Sebastian Smythe. I’m Blaine’s… friend.” </p><p>“Sebastian, right,” Cooper nodded, shaking Sebastian’s hand. “I… have no idea who you are. What are you even doing here? It’s Christmas, don’t you have somewhere else to be?”</p><p>“Sebastian has some family issues.” Blaine said. “He’s spending today here.”  </p><p>Santana and Brittany came down the stairs a moment later. Cooper stepped towards Santana. </p><p>“Hey, San.” He greeted. “Didn’t know you’d be here.” </p><p>“I live here.” Santana deadpanned. “I’m taking Britt home.” She looked back at Blaine and Sebastian. “Don’t get up to anything while I’m gone. Or do, so I don’t have to listen to it.” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, just get out.” Blaine waved Santana away. He smiled at Brittany. “Bye, Britt.”</p><p>“Bye!” Brittany smiled brightly at Blaine and waved goodbye before leaving with Santana. </p><p>Cooper went to the kitchen to go talk to Pam and Maribel, much to Blaine’s relief. </p><p>“Come on,” He said, reaching for Sebastian’s hand. “Let’s go back to my room, while he’s distracted.” </p><p>Blaine and Sebastian practically ran up to Blaine’s room, Blaine only letting go of Sebastian’s hand once the door was shut behind them and they were safely away from Cooper. </p><p>“I can’t deal with him, I swear.” Blaine complained, throwing himself down onto his bed. “I thought my mom would at least tell me he was coming. You know, a little warning would be nice. Like, <em>hey, Blaine, by the way, your brother who you hate and fights with you every time you see each other. Have fun!</em> Seriously. Can I not have a holiday where this doesn’t happen? Is that just too much to ask?</p><p> Sebastian sat on the edge of Blaine’s bed. “He seems… difficult.” </p><p>“And he’s only getting started. You should hear what he said to me on my birthday.” Blaine sighed, sitting up. “Today was going so well. I didn’t want him here. He does nothing but make me feel like crap. I just want him to leave already. I know it seems rude since, y’know, he’s my brother, but it’s not like he’s ever acted like it. He’s been a piece of shit to me all my life. But, weddings and funerals, at least.” </p><p>Blaine didn’t see Cooper much now. Cooper had left to go live in L.A. years ago and had barely bothered to keep in contact. Blaine would get a call on birthdays and holidays or when Cooper needed something from Blaine. It’s not like their relationship was ever functional; Cooper loved getting down on Blaine for every little thing he did and whenever Blaine tried to say something back, he was quickly made the villain by his father (Blaine was at least thankful he didn’t have to deal with that anymore). Cooper always found some new way to insult Blaine. Whether it was his looks, his interests, the way he dressed or talked or walked, Cooper would find a way. It was like Cooper only existed to antagonize Blaine, or at least that’s what it felt like. </p><p>“Listen, I don’t really know what it feels like to have a brother like that. I mean, I just have a little sister. She gets hair dye all over the bathroom and makes the whole house smell like cigarettes and she’s always bringing home some new swamp creature, but I do love her. And she’s a good person.” Sebastian was speaking softly. He was serious, but still comforting. It wasn’t what Blaine was used to on Sebastian. He liked it. “Cooper seems like a real piece of work and I know that’s gotta suck. I don’t know what it’s like so I can’t promise anything I say or do is gonna be helpful, but I swear I’m gonna try my best.” Sebastian grinned at Blaine. “And, if need be, I could totally kick his ass.”</p><p>Blaine laughed and nodded. “Oh, totally. He’s like five foot ten, you could take him.” </p><p>Blaine and Sebastian spent their time until dinner in Blaine’s room. Pam knew he didn’t like spending time with Cooper, so she usually let him stick to himself. At least he had an excuse this time; he had a guest. Pam did eventually call the two down for dinner with the family. Blaine complained, but he knew there was no getting out of it. </p><p>For a while, Blaine thought it was going well. Santana, Pam, and Maribel did most of the talking. Santana talked a lot about Brittany and Quinn like she always did. Pam complained about one of the women who she worked with (her name was Kathy. She complained about her a lot). Cooper went on talking about some audition he had once he got back to L.A. Some crime show, Blaine wasn’t really paying attention. He thought dinner was actually going to go well this year until Cooper finally asked the fated question.</p><p>“So why’d you and Kurt break up, anyway?” </p><p>Blaine nearly choked on his drink. “Yeah, I don’t really wanna talk about it, Coop.” </p><p>“Come on, I’m your brother,” Cooper said between mouthfuls of mashed potatoes. “You can tell me. I mean, whatever you did, I’ve probably done worse.” </p><p>“Why do you immediately assume I did something?” </p><p>“Didn’t you?” </p><p>“I said I didn’t want to talk about it.” </p><p>“So it was you.” </p><p>“Why do you even care?” Blaine asked, but he wasn’t expecting a response. “You never cared about me and Kurt. You never asked about him. You never even bothered to meet him. Dad did and you didn’t. Did you know that?” </p><p>“I care because you’re my brother.” </p><p>“Bullshit.” </p><p>“Blaine!” Pam exclaimed. </p><p>“Sorry.” Blaine apologized to Pam before turning back to Cooper, who was sitting across from him. “Before today, you haven’t talked to me since last Christmas.” </p><p>“I texted you last week.”</p><p>“To ask me for the Netflix password because you forgot. You’re twenty-five, Coop, I think you can get your own Netflix account now.” Blaine said. “You do the same thing every time you’re here. You pretend like you’re interested and think you know anything about me when, really, you never talk to me. You pretend like you do, but you don’t. You don’t even try. I know you don’t actually care, so stop pretending.” </p><p>“I do care, Blaine, I’m just busy a lot.” </p><p>“So, two years ago, when I was in the hospital, you were ‘too busy’ to even call me?” Blaine asked. “Or what about when mom and dad split up and you wouldn’t even return my texts? Nothing, huh?” </p><p>Cooper scoffed. “This is so typical of you. You’re turning this little thing into something huge.” He shook his head. “You’re just like dad.”</p><p>The words hit Blaine like a punch to the stomach. Out of all the things he was expecting Cooper to say to him, that certainly wasn’t one of them. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t say anything. </p><p>“Okay,” Pam put her utensils down, standing up. “I’ve heard enough. Cooper, you need to leave.” </p><p>“You can’t kick me out of my own house.” Cooper protested. </p><p>“It’s not your house. It’s mine.” Pam said. “It stopped being your house when you ran away.” Cooper didn’t say anything. “Leave, Cooper. Now.” </p><p>“Fine.” Cooper stood up from his chair, grabbing his jacked off the back. “Clearly, nobody wants me here. Don’t expect me back next year.” </p><p>Blaine was already on his way up to his room by the time Cooper was out the door. He couldn’t stay sitting there. He knew if anyone tried to say anything to him, he’d just burst into tears. He didn’t want anyone to have to see him like that, least of all Sebastian. </p><p>“I’ll go check on him.” Pam offered. </p><p>“No,” Sebastian stood up. “I’ll go. If that’s okay.”</p><p>Pam nodded. “Yeah, go ahead. He likes you.” </p><p>Blaine was sitting, curled up in his bed when Sebastian came knocking at his door. He was wrapped up in one of his blankets, facing away from the door. </p><p>“Hey, it’s me,” He said. “Can I come in?” </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>Sebastian opened the door to Blaine’s bedroom, peeking his head inside. “Hey.” </p><p>Blaine sniffled, not looking at Sebastian. “Hi.” </p><p>“Oh, you’re crying.” Sebastian stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. “Oh god, you’re crying. Okay, okay.” He moved over and sat on the edge of the bed. “Are… are you okay?” Blaine didn’t say anything, just shook his head. “Is there anything I can do?” </p><p>Blaine shrugged. “I don’t know.” He used his sleeves to wipe under his eyes, maybe a little too aggressively, tinting the skin red. “It’s stupid.”</p><p>“It’s not stupid.” Sebastian reassured, shuffling closer to him on the bed. “I didn’t realize Cooper was that bad.” </p><p>Blaine nodded, sniffling again. “He’s always been like this. I don’t know what else I was expecting.” He wiped at his eyes again. “I just… wasn’t expecting him to say that.” </p><p>“You’ve never mentioned your dad before.” </p><p>“I know,” Blaine said. “I don’t see him much. He moved out of Ohio after the divorce. Cooper is the only one who really keeps in contact.” Blaine finally turned to Sebastian. “He, uh, didn’t take my coming out well. He got really angry. He didn’t talk to me for months.” </p><p>Sebastian nodded along as Blaine spoke. “My parents were the same. It’s why we left Paris.” </p><p>“Really?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Sebastian said. “They caught me with another guy. I guess they thought getting me away from him and moving me here would, I don’t know, fix me?” He sighed. “Don’t know what they’re gonna do when they find out, surprise, I’m still gay.” </p><p>“Can we, uh, talk about something else?” Blaine seemed to have stopped crying, but his mood didn’t seem to have improved much. </p><p>“Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.” Sebastian nodded. “Did I ever tell you about the time my sister tried to take me frog hunting with her?” </p><p>“Frog… hunting?” </p><p>“Yeah, Ellie likes to go into the woods and find frogs. She calls them her friends.”</p><p>Blaine smiled weakly. “That’s kind of adorable.” </p><p>“Not so adorable when she’s chasing after you with a giant frog in your hands and you’re trying to run through the muddy woods while wearing Prada shoes.” </p><p>Blaine smiled. He and Sebastian continued talking for a while and Blaine’s mood seemed to be getting better. Blaine told Sebastian about Rachel’s party the year before and the time Meatbox nearly set the Warblers’ practice room on fire. Sebastian told Blaine about Jeff falling on his face during last week’s lacrosse game and how his sister sneaks out onto the roof to smoke. </p><p>“God, I can’t wait to meet your sister.” Blaine commented. </p><p>“She’d love you.” Sebastian’s phone vibrated. “Speak of the devil.” Sebastian spent a moment texting Ellie back before looking back up at Blaine with a sad face. “My parents want me home.” </p><p>Blaine pouted. “Do you have to go?” </p><p>Sebastian nodded. “I wish I didn’t have to.” </p><p>“Ugh, fine.” Blaine stood up. “C’mon, I’ll be a nice host and walk you downstairs.” </p><p>Sebastian followed Blaine back downstairs where the rest of the family. Pam and Maribel asked how Blaine was, if he was feeling better. </p><p>“I’m fine now,” He said. “I’ll be fine.” He gestured towards Sebastian. “Seb has to leave. His parents want him home.” </p><p>“Aw, leaving so soon?” Santana piped up sarcastically from the couch, barely looking up from her phone. </p><p>Blaine led Sebastian outside to the front porch as Pam and Maribel said their goodbyes, shutting the door behind them so Santana couldn't spy on them<br/>
.<br/>
"Sorry about... everything that happened." Blaine apologized. "I know Cooper can be, uh, difficult. You shouldn't have had to deal with that." </p><p>"Hey, it's okay," Sebastian reassured. "Certainly beats anything that would've gone on if I'd stayed home." He sighed. "I don't know if I wanna leave you after... all of that. I can stay the night, I have stuff in my car, I can sleep on the couch-"</p><p>"Sebastian, hey." Blaine cut him off. "It's fine, really. I'll be fine. I've dealt with worse from Cooper."</p><p>"Are you sure?" </p><p>"Aw, are you worried about me?" Blaine teased. </p><p>"Maybe." </p><p>"You are!" Blaine laughed. </p><p>"Stop laughing at me!" Sebastian said, though he was smiling. </p><p>"I'm not, I'm not," Blaine said. "You got so flustered when I asked you that. It was cute."</p><p>"Shut up." </p><p>"What? You're allowed to call me cute but I'm not-"</p><p>Blaine's comment was cut off by Sebastian's lips crashing against his. His brain short-circuited for a moment before he instinctively started to kiss back. His hand found the back of Sebastian's neck, pulling him closer. He knew it was a bad idea, he knew he shouldn't be doing this. But he didn't stop.</p><p>Sebastian pulled away after a moment. He didn't look Blaine in the eye. </p><p>"Sorry, I-" He stuttered. "I should go." </p><p>Sebastian left. He walked over to his car, got in, and drove away, leaving Blaine standing on the doorstep alone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>the way this is the longest chapter and i dont even like christmas😐 writing cooper literally made me angry</p><p>happy holidays everyone! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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